I will survive

After a minor setback in my usual goblin murder, I dusted myself off and got back down to business. Even without the full set of equipment I had been building up, murdering goblins these days was quite a bit easier than it had been the first time. It could be the fact that I was better with weapons than I had been initially, or that I could take a harder punch than back then. But, I like to attribute it to the survivor mentality imparted to me by the great Gloria Gaynor.

Oh yes, I will survive.

Surviving is great and all, but I want to do more than survive. I want to prosper. It became very clear to me that if I was going to prosper, I needed to branch out beyond just murdering goblins. I needed to find new things to murder. After filling all of the town's requests for various goblin equipment and appendages I was filled with the spirit of adventure. I put on the best equipment I could find, and set out to find exciting new places with the intention of slaughtering their natural inhabitants.

Agon is a very large world, with very harsh conditions at times. The Alfar, tough as we are, are raised in some of the harshest conditions. We can attribute our toughness to this fact. Makes sense, right? Along that same line, it would stand to reason that those same tough conditions would make the other local inhabitants tough. Well, have you ever tried explaining sound logic and reason to an adventurer full of piss, vinegar and blood soaked bread? Me either. Why try to spoil their fun? Crom Inator bravely approached everything that looked interesting, challenging the strength of anything that moved, and more often than not made a hasty advance in the opposite direction when they fought back. Some people might in fact call such advances "retreats," but you have to keep in mind that some people are dicks.

At one point I came across a pack of earth elementals. Not long after challenging them, I found myself advancing towards what looked to be a waterfall in the opposite direction. As it turned out, it was no waterfall at all. It was an acidfall. Yes, that's right. An acidfall. There was freaking acid falling from above and forming a river below. This acid river curved around like a moat, but didn't form a complete circle and there was a bit of a path formed in the gap. In the center of the acidfall-formed-not-moat, there was a grouping of buildings that looked interesting enough to investigate. Maybe the building's tenants would be home, and I could murder them. This building ended up not having tenants, but it did have guardians outside in the form of windlords. The windlords did not appreciate me entering their territory, but I did not appreciate them throwing balls of lightning at me when I wasn't looking. I entered the one of the buildings, made my way to the second floor, and challenged one of them to a fair fight from the window. The windlord must have been found my bravery terrifying, as he made no attempt to even come near the building I had entered. Either that or he had some sort of reverse agorophobic disorder.

Turning to leave after asserting my dominance over the scaredy cat windlord, a small chest in the corner of the room caught my eye. I ran over and excitedly opened the chest to find a stash of gold and arrows inside. This find gave me cause to properly search the rest of the building, along with the buildings I had not yet entered. As luck would have it, there was another chest in the building next door. As luck would also have it, that chest was locked. Sometimes you have to remember that luck is only one letter off from suck.

I gave the rest of the buildings a good search, taunted some windlords from afar, and decided it was time to leave this acid river surrounded place. On my way out, the windlords found their moxy and decided to send a few more balls of lightning at my back, but I was too tired to bother with them. If they wanted a fight, they should have followed me into one of the buildings like I told them to... bitches.